Saturday, February 26, 2011

Riding the Wave

This week has been very up and down in many ways. Weather wise we have gone from balmy to freezing and back again. Emotionally, I have felt pretty up and down myself. Just when I think that I have made a breakthrough and know exactly what I'm supposed to do; the perceived clarity seems to just collapse all around me. This is a very uncomfortable place for me to be.

The current emotional and energetic wave that is moving through our planet is having quite a dramatic impact on me. All these major changes; from Egypt to Libya and then the earthquake in New Zealand are almost too much for me to comprehend and process. One moment I'm feeling quite euphoric for the Middle East and the breakup of the authoritarian structures there and the next I'm quite muddled and disturbed by the disaster that is Libya and then New Zealand.

I have also been challenged by the husband to bring some focus in my life as to what it is that I want to 'be' in the world. In other words, what am I in the process of becoming? A very good question indeed and one for which I didn't have an answer.

I spend a lot of time keeping abreast of what is going on in the world and collecting data and ideas from Facebook. The world of social media has been buzzing this week and I have worked very hard to keep up. What I haven't done much of though is my own work. Which lead me back to the question, what is it that I want to be?

Then it hit me; like a ton of bricks. What I want to be and what I am becoming is a Light Worker. What does that mean, Light Worker? Well, what it means for me is that it doesn't really matter what I 'do' in my life – what I 'be' is a bringer of light – knowledge, information and the ability to 'lighten' people up.

This was truly a revelation for me. I know that some of my friends and Reiki students are probably laughing at this point – like you didn't know? Well, yes and no, it didn't really seem like a profession.

Never-the-less, it is who I Am.

Monday, February 21, 2011

Happy Family Day

Last week it was Valentines Day and today is 'Family Day', well, at least here in Ontario it is. These things do tend to go together; first you fall in love and then you have a family. At least, that's how it used to be.

I love the idea of 'Family Day' - a day to be with the family and enjoy each other's company but my experience with the reality is that this isn't always the case. Having family together – especially if you have teenagers – can be quite a painful and uncomfortable experience.

Our family unit of four went to Prague one year for Christmas. While we did have a fantastic time it was mainly due to three things; 1) the sons had a separate room from ours 2) they largely did what they wanted and 3) they weren't teenagers any more. I knew we were in for an interesting holiday when I handed our passports in at the check-in desk at Gatwick; none of us had the same last name. For reasons that aren't worth going into here, my passport was still in my maiden name and my sons don't share the same name. The woman looked at our passports and then looked at the four of us with a very quizzical look. I said, 'yes, we are a family – a very modern family – we all have our own identity.'

Since the husband and I got together over 20 years ago, we have formed and reformed our family around the different people who are a part of it. The husband coined the phrase 'unit' when we were first together. Given our unusual set up; unit works for us. Over the years, the sons have brought many people into our lives; some have lived with us for a period of time others just for a few weeks. As we have lived together we have found a rhythm and a way to be a 'unit' that has not only worked for us but it seems to work well for those who are a part of our unit.

The reality of our 'unit' is that we are all very far flung and so when we do connect, it is usually for a period of time that then becomes a 'holiday.' It doesn't always run smoothly – to say the least. In fact, 'National Lampoon's Vacation (Christmas and European) comes to mind for some of these gatherings. The real humour of these movies is the degree to which they so accurately mirror real life. There is a fine line between comedy and tragedy; which just about sums up the family holiday.

Happy Family Day – from Our Unit to yours.

Friday, February 18, 2011

The Soul Mate Conundrum

Valentines week is coming to an end and I was thinking that it might be a good time to offer up some of my thoughts and ideas on the 'Soul Mate' relationship. A number of years ago I wrote a very brief book on Soul Mates. It was in the very early days of my relationship with the husband and to be perfectly honest, I really didn't have a clue what it was about. Not that I am so super wise now, but 20 years on, I feel like I can at least offer my two cents worth.

So, why do I call it a conundrum, you ask? Good question and I will do my best to answer without creating too much confusion. The conundrum is that a Soul Mate Relationship has been romanticized so much in books, songs, magazines and the media that the reality is often a complete and total shock to the individuals involved.

The words 'you complete me' have become synonymous with the ideal soul mate relationship and to a degree it's true. It is like two parts fitting together to make a whole but the challenging bit is that each of you are coming together to make two wholes – not two halves into a whole. This is where the challenge begins.

Looking into the face of your mate is like looking at the part of yourself that you don't completely know and may not be completely in love with either. It takes a huge amount of maturity, honesty and humility to look into this mirror and tell the truth about what you see. The part you don't quite love about the other is really the part you don't love about you.

So, this is the 'Soul Mate' conundrum – we want to so much to fall in love and feel complete but what we get is the opportunity to love ourselves as we are and thereby, feel and be complete. This can get a bit confusing – as I mentioned at the beginning – so bear with me if you are feeling a bit lost.

The mate to your soul is the feminine or masculine aspect of you – the part you may not be paying a whole lot of attention to. That is why it can look unfamiliar and at times, rather unpleasant. If you think about some of the really famous 'Soul Mate' relationships – think Liz Taylor and Richard Burton – not always a pleasant picture. They were famous for their raging fights and breakups – as well as for their deep love and marriages. Can't live with 'em, can't live without 'em – is a bit of what it feels like.

T'is a conundrum alright and one that I find myself learning to love.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

As Time Goes By

I thought that it would be a good idea to wait until after Valentines Day to do my blog. The day can be fraught with so much expectation – especially for those of us in a relationship. Serious pressure to have something so fragile as a 'relationship' put through the very sharp focus of a 'Valentines Day' lens.

It wasn't too surprising then to read in the newspaper on the weekend that this is also a very busy time of the year for Private Investigators checking up on the 'fidelity' of their clients spouse. It appears that some people can't help but celebrate this day with their spouse and mistress – a bit of a gamble apparently, since it's a pretty easy catch.

For the rest of us, it is a useful time of the year to put some focus on the relationship – not limit it to commercials – and to appreciate the person who you have promised to share your life with – come hell or high water. So it is with this spirit of focus and appreciation that I started off Valentines Day with the husband.

It began with me asking for some help from him. He has recently become a bit of an expert in helping me with what we have termed 'emotional adjustments.' As a very tuned in male he has become adept at helping me sort through my emotional road map – which can get very tangled.

We chatted for a bit about various little issues that I was grappling with and then he hit the nail on the head by observing that I 'must feel quite overwhelmed at times by the onslaught of humanity – being such a sensitive and open person – no wonder you need to withdraw and remove yourself at times.' It was the best gift I could possibly receive, being seen and understood for who I am and how I am.

Later that night, we watched Casablanca – one of my favourite movies. I have seen it many times and I often have watched it, hoping the ending would be different. Yet, I think that what I most love about Casablanca is how Rick really does understand Illsa – and loves her enough to let her go and do what she needs to do.

Rick knew what he was doing when he said, 'here's looking at you kid!'

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Home in Wasaga Beach

I have been back home in Wasaga Beach almost a week now and once again, it's back to the life that I live here in a small beach community and for now, a freezing cold community.

It's been a busy week with lots of networking; the Wasaga Beach Women's Business Association dinner meeting on Tuesday and this morning, our Chamber's Breakfast at the Beach. We rely on these events to give us opportunities to meet new people and to promote our business. Without these kinds of events it would be very difficult to do business and to meet and connect with people. Most of the friends I have here I met at networking events.

As a founding member of the 'Breakfast at the Beach' networking committee, I feel a certain amount of pride and satisfaction that these mornings are as well attended as they are. The speakers are interesting and informative and it keeps a lively discussion and energy going in the community; whether we all agree with each other or not.

In fact, I'm certain that many of us do not share a common view on many issues within the Town. Debate was heated during the recent Mayoral election and it appears to continue to this day. While it would be 'nice' if we all agreed and held the same point of view; it isn't healthy or good for a community to do that. Debate and opposing opinions is what keeps our Town honest and our citizens engaged.

Our speaker this morning was from the very new 'Youth Centre' in town and she spoke about her vision for the youth. She felt that it was vital that they play a role in the community and that when they do leave for their education – and leave they must, since we don't have a high school – that they do come back willing and eager to contribute their youthful energy and knowledge back into the Town.

This is the challenge that every small town faces and is a particular hurdle for our little 'beach town.' While we offer lots of fun in the sun in the summer; there is very little to keep people here throughout the colder months of the year.

There are important decisions to be made if we are going to attract and keep our young people interested in the smaller towns and communities in our country. We need to offer them something more than a pleasant and healthy lifestyle to enjoy; we need to offer them opportunities to contribute their ideas and a place to do that.

Change isn't easy for those of us who are nearing that stage of our life where we want more stability and less change. Never-the-less, change is what we are all in for. The world is experiencing unprecedented change and our youth are getting prepared to take our place in this swiftly spinning planet. The question is, have we prepared them well enough to succeed in that job? And, are we ready to let go and take our place as the wise elders?

Elders we may be; wise, well that's another story.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

I'm leaving on a Jet Plane

It's time to go and tomorrow I leave the UK. The work is complete, friends have been seen and fun has generally been had. I will miss England – as I always do – but know that I will be back very soon. This is my home – or at least one of my homes – and it is very dear to me.

I spent the day in London yesterday catching up with an old friend and colleague over a very long and chatty lunch. He is training to be a psychotherapist now and is finding many new insights and understandings around his life and everything flowing through it. We worked together for many years in London and still do on occasion. He turns 50 this year and is already thinking and talking about when he and his son will move down to Dorset to be closer to the love of his life.

The plans for his psychotherapy career are based on making this move. Retiring into a more sedate and peaceful existence with a few clients a day to support himself and keep in the 'personal development' loop. His happiness with his plans and with his current life was visible and plain to see.

From lunch, I moved on to dinner with an acquaintance who is becoming a friend. We met a few years ago through a mutual interest in the 'Indigo' phenomena and she contacted me and others in the group about getting together. She had spent a year traveling around the world and was eager to talk about her adventure.

She shared with me the amazing times she had in South America and how Columbia and Bolivia were so warm and welcoming. Her excitement at speaking to a Mayan who confirmed for her that 2012 wasn't the end of the world at all – didn't really know what all the fuss was about. We discussed how 2012 was likely to be more of a 'new beginning' as opposed to a colossal ending.

I enjoyed sharing in her enthusiasm and excitement at spending a year moving around the world, meeting fellow travelers and not feeling the least bit afraid. She was still itchy to be on her way again and had in fact just come back from 5 days in Spain. I understand how she feels; the travel bug is a very addictive infection.

For this reason, I'm looking forward to going home – to my other home in Wasaga Beach. It is there that I get to have the serenity and peacefulness that helps me to contemplate and envision my next adventure.

Life is joyful and fun living from purpose and vision.