Spent the weekend with a really lovely group of people and was reminded of what I had learned over 26 years ago about how to create a successful relationship.
The workshop was called '2011 The Year of Your Dreams' and in the process of looking at what I wanted to create in 2011, we looked at what we had done already in 2010. The question was posed, 'What relationship did you enhance this past year?' Hm – my first instinct was – well, actually, my relationship with myself. As it turned out, the correct answer.
This past year has been a very challenging year for me as I have come up against a lot of difficult issues and experienced a lot of 'disapproval' that I have found quite challenging. I didn't realize how much I wanted people to like and approve of me until I was faced with the opposite. Ouch – that doesn't feel good.
Yet, the net benefit of facing these hard realities is that I have definitely enhanced my relationship with myself. I understand even more deeply how important it is to have this relationship in great shape – especially if I want to have a good relationship with a soul mate.
We can only attract as much love and approval from our friends and loved ones as we are willing to give to our self. The real challenge of a soul mate relationship is that it will mirror this reality almost exactly. While the tendency is to look outside of one's self and find fault with the other; it is really the other way round.
If I don't like what I’m seeing on the outside, it's probably time to look inside and see what I do not like about me. Not an easy thing to do but far less stressful and painful than trying to find the culprit out there. Cause it just doesn't exist.
A good relationship with myself is the only path to having a good relationship with a soul mate.