Letting Go - Letting Rob

 

What does it mean to let go?  This is the question on my mind right now.  How do I let go of a life I have lived with this man for over 30 years?  It seems impossible and yet, here I am, faced with this next challenge in my life.

I know I am not the only one going through big changes right now; we are amid a major spiritual evolution, and nothing is going to be the same once it is complete.  So why do I think that I can move through these massive changes without having to let go of what no longer serves me or bears fruit for me?  It doesn’t make sense at all to think that I am going to be unaffected by the biggest change that I have had to do to date, the loss of my soul mate, my best friend, and my husband.  He was all those things and more; so how do I cope?

On the one hand, I’m doing ok, moving from day to day and dealing with the details of completing on Rob’s life here on earth.  Those tasks alone are keeping me very busy.  And yet, I’m also in full communication with Rob in the early hours of the morning.  I seem to be able to get about 4 hours sleep and then I hear from him, and he talks to me about what he is doing and, encouraging me to ‘be resilient’ in my emotions and to keep my frequency up in order to move through these changes with ease and grace.

Once again, as usual, he is right.  It is what I need to do and I’m so grateful for his guidance from the other side.  He has also reassured me that he is there to assist me and that I just need to ask, and he will come to my aid.  This I have experienced numerous times; the people I have had to contact to inform of his passing, have been overwhelmingly kind and helpful Where I thought I might be hampered by bureaucratic nonsense, I have found people more than willing to make the process simple and graceful.

The words ‘surrender, let go, ask for help and all is well’ have been a recurring theme in my life right now.  While it isn’t easy, it has been made less stressful because of his help.  For example, through the past 4 weeks there has been a constant stream of people and support in my life.  Having a friend stay with me right now has been the biggest support in helping me let go of papers, clothes, and general stuff that I no longer need.  Having someone here to box things up, throw things out and generally be a voice for ‘let it go’ has been massive. 

I’m doing all this clearing as I also prepare to have my house used as an Air BnB site for a few families.  This while I’m in the UK and Greece, having a break from life on the Island.  Preparing the house for visitors/guests was always Rob’s job.  I’m so amazingly grateful in retrospect for all the work he did to prepare the house.  I really had no idea what a huge job it was and just tended to complain on coming home to not being able to find anything that I needed.   Wow – was I ever mistaken. 

There are many moments like that for me now when I realize all that Rob did to keep me safe and secure.  He did that job so well and I’m incredibly grateful that he continues to do it today. 

That is my life to date; letting go and letting Rob continue to be the Rock he has always been in my life.  Thank you, sweetheart, – I love you and I always will.