Letting Go - Letting Rob

 

What does it mean to let go?  This is the question on my mind right now.  How do I let go of a life I have lived with this man for over 30 years?  It seems impossible and yet, here I am, faced with this next challenge in my life.

I know I am not the only one going through big changes right now; we are amid a major spiritual evolution, and nothing is going to be the same once it is complete.  So why do I think that I can move through these massive changes without having to let go of what no longer serves me or bears fruit for me?  It doesn’t make sense at all to think that I am going to be unaffected by the biggest change that I have had to do to date, the loss of my soul mate, my best friend, and my husband.  He was all those things and more; so how do I cope?

On the one hand, I’m doing ok, moving from day to day and dealing with the details of completing on Rob’s life here on earth.  Those tasks alone are keeping me very busy.  And yet, I’m also in full communication with Rob in the early hours of the morning.  I seem to be able to get about 4 hours sleep and then I hear from him, and he talks to me about what he is doing and, encouraging me to ‘be resilient’ in my emotions and to keep my frequency up in order to move through these changes with ease and grace.

Once again, as usual, he is right.  It is what I need to do and I’m so grateful for his guidance from the other side.  He has also reassured me that he is there to assist me and that I just need to ask, and he will come to my aid.  This I have experienced numerous times; the people I have had to contact to inform of his passing, have been overwhelmingly kind and helpful Where I thought I might be hampered by bureaucratic nonsense, I have found people more than willing to make the process simple and graceful.

The words ‘surrender, let go, ask for help and all is well’ have been a recurring theme in my life right now.  While it isn’t easy, it has been made less stressful because of his help.  For example, through the past 4 weeks there has been a constant stream of people and support in my life.  Having a friend stay with me right now has been the biggest support in helping me let go of papers, clothes, and general stuff that I no longer need.  Having someone here to box things up, throw things out and generally be a voice for ‘let it go’ has been massive. 

I’m doing all this clearing as I also prepare to have my house used as an Air BnB site for a few families.  This while I’m in the UK and Greece, having a break from life on the Island.  Preparing the house for visitors/guests was always Rob’s job.  I’m so amazingly grateful in retrospect for all the work he did to prepare the house.  I really had no idea what a huge job it was and just tended to complain on coming home to not being able to find anything that I needed.   Wow – was I ever mistaken. 

There are many moments like that for me now when I realize all that Rob did to keep me safe and secure.  He did that job so well and I’m incredibly grateful that he continues to do it today. 

That is my life to date; letting go and letting Rob continue to be the Rock he has always been in my life.  Thank you, sweetheart, – I love you and I always will.

 18 July 2021

Rob’s Journal – Guided by an Angel

On 27^th of June 2021 my beloved husband Robert Riches slipped away – suddenly, unexpectedly and with no fanfare whatsoever.  In my grief and devastation, I thought he really was gone.  I cried, I grieved and for the most part, remained in shock for the next several days.  How could this happen?  How could the man who had been my life for over 30 years (married for 25 years) suddenly leave my life?  I could not process it; it was all too much for my brain. 

Over the next few weeks, I was surrounded by family and friends who provided the most incredible assistance, love, and support.  I felt that I was in a bubble of love and some how protected from the deeper levels of loss and grief.  Yes, I was shocked, yes, I was incredibly sad and grieving and yes, it was all surreal and yet, I felt and still do feel very loved and protected. 

To backtrack a bit; the event that led up to my husband’s passing was a stroke that he had in February 2020.   I was in the UK working as a Trainer/Coach when I received the call that changed my life.  My husband would never be the same again.  Over the next 16 months, amidst the panic and madness that was Covid, I took care of Rob and did everything in my power to help him to heal and to get better.  If I heard about something that might help, be it a therapy, a supplement, a therapist, or a process, I said yes, and we embarked on that strategy.

By late May and early June of 2021, it became abundantly clear that Rob was not getting better.  I was a bit angry with him that he was not getting better.  After any session be it Massage or Physio he would often say, well, that was nice, but it does not last.  It was true, it did not last but given his strong mental belief that it would not last or make a big difference, I figured that having a shift in his mental thought process could be the answer.

I am here to admit, with hand on heart, that I did all I could do and nothing I did was going to stop my husband from leaving.  As the expression goes, when your time is up, your time is up.  In the days since he passed – just 14 as of today – I have become more aware of the total and utter lack of control I have, or anyone has over another person’s life.  It was a tremendously humbling awareness; I could not keep my husband alive. 

On July 1^st, a mere 4 days after he passed, Rob came to me in an immensely powerful and conscious way.  The first thing I heard him say was, ‘You didn’t think you’d get rid of me that easily, did you.’  I was pretty stunned, to say the least, and said, ‘Well, no, I didn’t really.  I figured you would connect with me but wow – I can feel you; I can hear you; this is amazing!’  He then continued to run some extraordinarily strong energy through my system.  I did not realize it at the time, but he told me later that he had shifted my consciousness to 5D consciousness so that it would be easier for us to communicate. 

My initial feeling was – whoa – this is, too much.  I don’t  think I can handle all of this, please back off a bit here.  You may be white light, but I am still in a physical body.  He did and he has, I have not had such a strong visit from his since.  He does pop in and communicate regularly, often in the middle of the night, but the energy is less intense. 

Apparently, all the love, cocooning and protection I am feeling is largely coming from him.  I know that I have friends who are immensely powerful energy healers and I know that they are also sending me lots of love and healing energy.  Yet, when I start to feel a lull, like the dial has been turned down, when I ask Rob for some energy and support, it is there, immediately. 

Over the past two weeks I have had several conversations with Rob and increasingly, my awareness and consciousness are expanding at exponential levels.  He has communicated with me the role he is playing right now in activating the grid system over the earth; along with the crystals, the monoliths and the ley lines that make up the quite complex electrical system that is our earth.  As an Electrical Engineer and a student of Metaphysics, Psychology and Transcendental Meditation, Rob was the perfect candidate for this job.  Thus, the need for him to depart at the time he did; he was needed on the other side to help lift the consciousness and ignite the circuitry of the Earth.  A big job, but someone had to do it.

Our little world is going through a massive spiritual evolution, and it is going to take all the love and light that we hold in our hearts to bring this about.  Rob has advised me on several points about what is happening.   The dark forces, if that is a term that suits the situation, are starting to lose their grip on the controls of our planet.  They have been in charge for an exceptionally long time, and it was determined that at this point in our history, we would take back our power and shine the light on what has been going on for thousands of years.  The enslavement of humanity under a system of unparalleled control, has come to an end.  We are in the final stages of this corrupt world system and are on the brink of a period of enlightenment and transformation that we have never experienced.  So, that is the good news; the bad news for me, is that it meant that Rob needed to leave to be a part of this massive awakening at the level of consciousness and physical In-light- Moment.

Where does that leave me today?  Resting, readying, making my way to the UK and Greece.  The time has come for me to also find my angel wings and take flight.  I asked Rob about that, did I get my wings and he said, sort of, but you do have one bent wing.  That totally made sense to me.

Feeling Blessed

I started this Blog with a focus and title of 'Soul Mates' and now it looks like I am off on other tangents. Well, it may look like that but the theme running through all of these blogs is on relationships. The relationship that I am focused on is the one with myself. This is the one that needs to be in tip top shape before I can have a relationship with a soul mate.

Also, just to further clarify the point, a soul mate relationship can be any relationship; between same sex friends, between parent and child, between brothers and sisters – the connection is the important factor. A soul connection is a deeper more meaningful connection that features transparency, honesty, integrity and acceptance. There's that word again – acceptance – joyful in particular.

Creating 'soulful' connections with people starts on the inside. How I think, how I feel and how I extend myself out into the world is a function of me and my acceptance and love for myself.

When I am in 'right relationship' with myself; I can then be in 'right relationship' with everyone else. Creating right relationship with self begins with feeling blessed and knowing that you are absolutely perfect just as you are right now. You don't have to fix yourself, lose weight, buy a new wardrobe or do anything else to 'improve' yourself - you are beautiful, lovable and deeply 'perfect' just as you are.

Now don't you feel blessed?

Living a Mid-Atlantic Life

OK – I have been learning a lot about slowing down this past year. So much so that I have really let my blogging go by the wayside. Travelling back and forth between Canada and the UK has meant that taking the time to think, ponder and create has been at a minimum. Today, the last day of the month and Halloween got me thinking that the year is almost out and that perhaps now would be a good time to reflect on how things have gone so far. On the one hand; I have definitely slowed down in many ways. On the other hand, my life has been divided between two continents. Moving between these different cultures, different friends, different everything has meant that being slowed down has made it possible for me to stay focused and be in the flow of the moment. Perhaps that is the real reward for being slowed down; there is time to notice and pay attention to the events of life and to be open to what life is trying to give you. Often when I was impatient for things to happen and trying to move them along myself, through force of will and pushing the river, nothing actually happened. How ironic to now see that by slowing down to the speed of life, I have actually created way more in my life. More fun, more opportunities, more connections and way more time to enjoy them all. It was a year ago in November that the book 'Slowing Down to the Speed of Life' literally fell of the shelf and into my lap. I took it as a message and one that I did pay attention to. Now, a year later, all I can say is Wow – what a miracle and what magic has happened in my life since then. On Friday I leave again for the UK. Work, opportunities and fun beckons and I am ready for it all. The past year has been great and I'm pretty excited to see what this next year has in store. Finally learning that life is a marathon, not a sprint.

What's Next for London?

Traveling throughout the UK this summer has been a real eye opener. From the Canals of the Midlands to the Eden Project in Cornwall and most recently, to the woodlands of the Loch's in Scotland; we have experienced so much that is really wonderful and beautiful about the United Kingdom. Having said that; united is not a word that I would use to describe this place. Tribal is a word that comes to mind most often and it also explains the solutions that have been used to resolve economic and social issues of deprivation and hopelessness that have been the hallmarks of these areas in the past. Not so now; all of these areas have been rejuvenated through creative and positive change brought about in the communities themselves. The canals have been invested in and championed by individuals who understand that this water system offers more than just a transportation system for commercial purposes. The canals are now home to many people who have opted for a lifestyle of simplicity and fulfillment. They are not living on their boats because they feel 'hard done by'; they live on their boats because it is joyful and a shear pleasure as we discovered for ourselves. Cornwall has fostered the most amazing regeneration project that I have ever seen. The Eden project is a miracle of positive growth through transformation of a once ugly blight on the countryside. It is now an oasis, a garden of Eden that attracts people in the thousands on a daily basis. A forum to educate but also an attraction that provides a healthy and inspiring example of what community can do to generate work and provide a positive solution to the environmental crisis that we face. A true win/win proposition of ever there was one. Loch Ard in Scotland an area called the Trossachs just north of Glasgow also provides an educational and inspiring eco friendly tourist attraction. They work hard in this little area to ensure that you don't leave Scotland thinking it is just a place of mist and grey clouds. Enterprise is everywhere as is their history that is kept alive because of the individuals who live there and ensure that the stories of Rob Roy and William Wallace are as relevant today as they were hundreds of years ago. All of these places have sparked economic rejuvenation by their own enterprise. They have taken the bull by the horns – led by incredible and dedicated visionaries – and made something of their communities. The London area which has been most badly hit by the riots and looting of late could definitely benefit from it's own 'Eden Project.' The social unrest has been building for a very long time; lack of jobs, lack of opportunity, urban decay and the general malaise that occurs when people feel bereft of hope and inspiration. Entitlement has been the disease that has most deeply eroded the social fabric here. The idea that these kids felt 'entitled' to expensive trainers, flat screen tv's and computers are more alarming than the fact that they did what they did. The government can no longer afford this social experiment; and it is about time too. It has turned whole generations of people into welfare queens and kings who see the government as the answer to their problems. The truth is that in any society the solutions are not going to come from the government; they are part of the problem. The solutions will need to come from the community and from a vision for the community that can transcend the current state of moral, emotional and financial decay. Maybe London can be transformed and become the next Eden Project?

Slowing down to the speed of the Canals

Life has been a bit of an adventure of late and the blog has definitely fallen through the cracks. I have written a few but connecting to the internet has been the biggest challenge. This started when we decided to have a bit of a break in France after I had some work to do in the UK. Seemed like a great idea and it was a good idea and a grand adventure.

The challenge comes with fitting our lifestyle into a French lifestyle; being wired to the internet is not a priority in France. So moving into the way of life in France meant adjusting as best we could to an hour a day to cover off essential emails (client communications and coaching) and the more fun and frivolous stuff – Facebook and blogging – went by the wayside.

Our time in France prepared us perfectly for a week on the canals in England. In previous blogs I have written about the whole idea of 'slowing down' as perhaps a direction that would be worthwhile for me to pursue. Ambling through the waterways around the Trent and Mersey Canal system has been amazingly instructive around getting into a slower pace. The river winds and bends, the ducks seek out food from the many canal boaters and we converse at night over a glass of wine in the pubs that spot this incredible system of waterways.

The system is over two hundred years old and originates with the Industrial revolution as a way to transport goods throughout the UK. We travel no more than a few miles a day; stopping along the way to open and close the locks and meet our fellow boaters who are unerringly helpful at showing us newbies how it all works. It is a pleasant and most enjoyable lifestyle; one that I could get used to.

We had friends with us over the weekend assisting with the locks and generally helping us to adjust to our life on the canals. Outgoing and greeting everyone on the canals, they helped us to understand that this is a very different way of life. Completely off the grid, no one is a stranger and everyone is pursuing their own personal adventure. By the look of the people we have met, they are a pretty darned happy bunch. Free of the cares and worries of owning a home or a car, they cruise the rivers and make each new mooring their home for the night. Peripitatic to the extreme and yet the joy and sense of freedom these people experience is visible on their faces.

Today would have been my Mother's 90th birthday. She passed away 6 years ago and I think about her every day and wish that I could share this adventure with her. I also know that she would be pretty pleased that I am finally learning how to relax and slow down. My Mom was a bit of a master at the art of relaxing; she didn't pass that particular gene onto me.

Happy Birthday Mom; slowing down and learning to relax is my gift to you today.

The End of an Era

My Father-in-law passed away this week at the age of 93. He was a lovely man and I will miss him. He had a warm and charming manner and was a true English gentleman in his Harris tweeds and cap. At 93 he survived and served in World War 11 and would often regale us with his stories about the war. I would listen to these stories with rapt interest until, like my husband, I could just about tell them for him. He did tend to review and live in the past with increasing frequency, in the past several years, as his memory became more fragile and eventually faded entirely.

In many ways, his passing was a blessing for him; I can't imagine that he would have wanted to continue with his health failing at every turn. The final straw was a broken hip that happened two weeks ago. The subsequent surgery left him weak, vulnerable and open to the chest infection that appears to have taken him away.

The loss of any close member of a family is difficult, no matter what the person's age or state of health. There is a 'life force' that we all bring that will be missed when we are gone. Strangely, we don't really get to understand what the essence of a person is until it isn't present on the planet.

It is easy to take our families for granted and assume they will be there forever. For my husband, having a Father in his life for all of his 65 years is pretty amazing. He is already an Old Age Pensioner and has never known a time in his life when his father wasn't there.

One of the most difficult parts of loss is the conflict of emotions that emerge; grief and sadness mixed with feelings of relief that the tension and wonder is finally over.

Family relationships are complicated and made more so when the parents are gone. Most siblings don't know how to be with each other without the parents as a point of reference point. The uncertainty, the vacuum and the unknown are what we face over the next few weeks as we travel back to England to complete this journey.

While it may be the end of an era; it is also a new beginning that we can shape as we like.